The one about Fear

Sorry it's been so long since I posted. But, I felt like I needed to have an answer to the last blog. I felt like I should be saying, "I've had an epiphany and I now know how my whole life is going to pan out and I'm going to die at 96!" HOWEVER, there have been no epiphanies, but there has been in fact FEAR. This is the blog about fear.

I've never considered myself to be a fearful person.

I always had a dream-a loose plan of what wanted in life and how I thought I would get it. It started with film school and led to NYC, and eventually LA. So far in LA, I have achieved some of that loose plan: I have successfully worked in the film industry in Los Angeles, on TV and movies.

But there are also many parts of that loose life plan that I haven't achieved yet. I haven't gotten married, or anywhere close to married, or even in a healthy functional relationship most of my adult life. Kids? That still gets a ?, and still figuring out how to become a director (if that's even what I still want).

Lately, my dreams have been changing. My new dreams include the ability to travel without wondering if I'm ever going to work again, the ability to live alone and decorate an apartment with new furniture in a cohesive color pattern, have my dog live with me, and time for my hobbies. These dreams seem simple but maintain those in LA, seems nearly impossible.

So I still need to make a decision. The fear is great in that decision. It's scary to watch your dreams that you thought would be dreams for your whole life suddenly start to change. Do I give up the old dream for the new dream? Is there a way to have all those dreams come together in one place?

What about you? Did you have dreams that were fulfilled, or dreams that have changed? Leave me a comment and let me know!

While I spend a couple more days in Ohio on my early Christmas present Stand Up Paddlleboard (SUP), and taking Rex for walks, I'll continue to try to overcome this fear.

I think I know what my answer is....but you'll have to wait and see.........