What's Next

Summer has started in Los Angeles, in fact as I write this today the temperature is somewhere around 111 degrees in the valley (which thank God I don't live in the valley).

Post Panama I spent 2 weeks in Ohio visiting family and friends and hanging out with my Rex, the cutest dog in the world. My 💙 was full.
But, it left me wondering what was next.....where was my career headed.....did I want to continue being in LA....where does my heart belong...what's next?

After having a wonderful working adventure on You Vs. Wild, I decided to continue working in the reality field. Currently working on a little show for Snapchat:(https://variety.com/2018/digital/news/snapchat-reality-series-bunim-murray-summer-mckeen-1202849372/)

And while I am enjoying this less stressful version of script supervision, I am still not fulfilled. I want more. I want to be the creative force behind the project I am working on. I have become one of those people that have perplexed me a little: those people where they work so little you wonder how they afford their lives, one of those people that seem to spend all their time working on things that could advance their career, but will it advance their career? I've always judged those people, but now I am becoming one of those people. (I would still be very grateful to work on another tv show, or go back to one I've already done, but it isn't my priority like it was 5 1/2 years ago when I cam to LA)

I want to travel, I want to rock climb, I want to paint, and I want to live a simple life.....

A simple life could mean moving back to Ohio, to Cleveland where all those "wants" can be met, but would that mean giving up on a career and a life I'd always dreamt of having?

The only career I've ever wanted was to work in the film and television industry, but sometimes people dreams change, or sometimes dreams don't work out in the way we thought they would. Really the most glamorous part of working in the film industry is telling people you work in the film industry. In reality its long hours, not enough pay or prep, not enough sleep, the productions owns you, and expects you to give THEM your all, for what? to make a movie, a movie!

I spend a lot of time reflecting. I am very grateful for the career I have, and the fact that I have successfully sustained a good life in LA. I can pay my over priced rent, my car payment, and my student loans. I have friends I really like, and friends that I am continuing to make. I even had love once, and can probably have it again. But do I do that here?

So I find myself wondering, what's next.....

......and maybe waiting for a sign 🙏